Thursday, April 13, 2006

Meet the CRAZIESCruises

Hi my name is Baby Alien Cruise (Al for short) and I am the future baby of my parents Tom and Katie: Pictured here
I wanted to tell my story while I still have a chance. I know once Im in the hands of my crazy ass father I will be brain washed and that will be the end of my free thinking. He has powers you know, don't believe me...take a look at what he did to this poor black woman...

I have been paying close attention to what's been going on from inside my mommy. So let me tell you my side of things, from the beginning.

Meet my dad, this was before he got his teeth fixed. He looks like he bit the wrong end of a cinder block.

He is an actor, doctor, pilot and overall a pretty good gay guy.
And this is my mommy, she is one fine piece of ass with great tits..

Daddy, as you may know, is one crazy son of a bitch and when he saw mommy for the first time he knew right away, this would make a great hostage, he locked on and hasn't let go since:

Shortly after this picture was taken, Daddy was giving an interview and some man decided to see if Daddy would melt if he was sprayed with water, he didn't but it was funny as hell to see it happen:

So after a few weeks of mind tampering and playing with his magic gloves

Daddy planted his alien seed in mommy.

Scientolgists don't have to use their peepee's, Captain Hubbard teaches how to impregnate a girl by the method known as "Snow Balling"
After a few tries he was finally successful, actually Im pretty sure I took the first time, I think daddy just likes the taste of semen. shhhh, don't tell him i said that...hahaha..
Anyway so after a few months I started making my way into the loony bin that is TomKat.. That's me on the left..

And here again..Already a freak..

Well I think that has us up to date. Keep checking back cause I plan on giving you all the inside scoop to my crazy already fucked up life.. Oh yeah wanna see the first shirt I plan on wearing?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome! I look forward to reading more stories of your not yet existing life.

Much sympathy,

4:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kudos for having some fun, baby! Looking forward to reading more from you.

5:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:04 PM  
Anonymous Joey Tempest said...

Rock the night!

6:13 PM  
Anonymous ally said...

Now make sure you make as much possible noise as you can when you're being born! :D

9:30 PM  
Anonymous Paul said...

you poor bastard. your are right, daddy's a few candles short of a birthday cake, but i feel so sorry for your mummy. i'd make her feel better by making sweet love to her all night long. that would help ease the pain of her present scenario.

12:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are one smart little alien freak fetus!

9:44 AM  
Blogger Joe Ebola said...

You're friggin' brilliant. I am so jealous that I did not think of this first. Keep up the great work.

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i feel for you lil freaklet.
i am waiting for the day that they find your mama in a jungle hidden shack in florida strapped to a metal bed dead as a doornail. oh yeah with cockroach bites taken out of her and electrodes taped to her face. there was story about something like this happening to a woman who was involved with the group at their big florida compound. fuckin creepy.
poor people.
fuckin yuck.
just wait till he starts gettin all political like Ahhhnold Schwartzynigga
good grief. i'm runnin for the hills.

12:07 AM  

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